Alvin & The Chipmunks : The Squeakqual

Alright, alright.
I watched this.
And yes it was horrible.
But damn man, those frikkin chipmunks
are so damn cute.
And here they are again.
With cute little girl chipmunks.
Damn, even cuter.

But i have to say i find this hip-hop
grind culture to be brainless, tasteless and lame.
Really.
Really really lame!

So.
Waste of time.
Lame movie.
But super cute chipmunks.
i couldn't resist.
And just to hear Jason Lee
who makes an AMAZING dave
scream ALLLLVVVVVIIIIIIINNNN
was pretty nostalgic.

Robin Williams: Weapons Of Self Destruction (2010) written by Robin Williams

If you didn't know Robin Williams even did stand up.
Then you have seriously missed out.
He has been a favourite of mine for well over 10 years.

Before his days on Mork & Mindy, this rampant and often
over excited grown man's sense of humour was so random
and spontaneous you would take bets just to see who could be
so wrong about what he would do with the random items
to be found in a box on stage.

Then in 2002 just after the bombings of 9/11
Williams came out with a harsh comedic routine
about Muslims , terrorists and the attack on New York
helping American put it all behind them by laughing at the
entire situation.

Now that took some serious gonads. And seriously,
its only because everybody loves Williams that he could
even think about getting away with it.

So here he is again.
Bombing Bush, Obama, big banks, America, Blair, whites, blacks,
Latinos, homophobes and gays alike. No one is spared really.
Not even Schwarzenegger.

I would dare say this is probably even his best stand up routine ever.

Spun (2002) directed by Jonas Akerlund screenplay by Wil Del Los Santos & Creighton Vero

This will be a totally unfair review as my favourite stories

are those of excess.

And this is what this film is.

A cast of tweakers and wired meth heads.
There was so much meth usage,

i kept feeling the urge to get high.

This crazy film has a peculiar film, 

stars a few teenage goody goods who i

think are just trying to break out of their claim to fame

roles, such a Suvari, Fugit & Murphy.

TRIVIA: the actress who played Rourke's dial-a-hooker,

her real name is China Chow. Something tells me it should have

been her hooker name.

I don't know how to review this film.

The plot was so whack it kept moving and moving

and its final twist into dementia - perfect.

Once again, brilliant story of excess.
Loved it and highly recommend.
Oh yea, how come it took me so long 

to clock onto it. 

Alice in Wonderland (2010) directed by Tim Burtonwritten by Lewis Carrol screenplay by Linda Woolverton

With all the excitement that i kinda let myself buy into

with this newest rendition of my favourite book ever,

by the time i had finally managed to catch up with 

watching it, i have to admit, i wasn't anymore.

The writing was pretty lame i have to say.
The prelude up to Alice's fall into wonderland

was slow, and brutally annoying.
But after a slow painful torturous introduction

she falls through the rabbit hole.

And im starting to have fun.
The first few details to catch my eye were the dragonfly 

and the rocking horsefly. -Brilliant!!
But then the horrible writing starts to eat over the beautifully

sketched wonderland.

For the next hour or so im hugely entertained - yay!

Depp's Hatter is great, although im wondering why he has these Scottish

moments. - seriously. 

The star of the show is Helena Bonham Carter's Queen of Hearts.
She i enjoyed every moment of.
Every little twitch, snitch and itch.

But the weak writing pulls through again.

From the moment Alice has her 'recollection'

right up to the very end of the film - its really weak writing.

Sure enough its beautiful,

its just really weak writing.
And sorry the little dance at the end - pathetic.
Please Disney, let someone who's not on your writing staff

do the job right. You haven't really done it since the original AIW.

Overall I enjoyed this. Visually it was very fun.

Burton's little team did well.
Disney - fuck off.

Nothing (2003) written & directed by Vincenzo Natali

Too unique.
Way too original.
Everything disappears.
Less dramatic than 'The Nothing' from the Neverending Story
But way cooler.

Starring my now new favourite actor David Hewlitt,
its a great plot about two guys who have everything go
wrong for them and somehow, just somehow make
everything disappear in an instant.
Completely.
Like, everything turns white.
There is no scenery. No location.
The entire film almost takes place in white nothingness.

Super cool & original and oh yea - genius!!

men of a certain age (2009)created by Ray Romano & Mike Royce

To start this was a perfect cast for me.
Each actor perfectly and elegantly portraying his role.

I'll admit. What caught my attention really was the title

of this mini-series. I didn't even know it was written

by Ray Romano - who i think it always brilliant!

One of those funny things to wonder you know,

about getting older.
Specially for men. It's like theres no hand book 

or guidance here. Men don't particularly talk,

much less about anything much really.
Which kinda sucks. But on the other hand its great.

This show presents some truth i think.
I say i think as im about 20 years away from

where these three guys are. But still i stare down at my gut

and i can relate. *chuckles*

10 hour long episodes. Just great.
And a second season signed in Feb.
I will gladly be following that one too!

Stargate Atlantis (2004-2009)

I've come to realise that when you decide to watch a sci-fi television series
your pretty much committed.
See the downside is that not every episode is amazing.
In fact when its bad, its dire. Like, really dire. Oh Dear.
However, when its good....nothing really comes close.
So you go through 5 seasons to come across some real gems.

The real problem is that you have to really get to know
all the characters really well before the true genius
of the writing can take effect.
Its hard otherwise, and i've tried to show friends clips
or sit down with one to watch an episode.
And now they think i'm this sad geezer who likes watching
budget sci-fi tv shows.
So if you haven't gotten involved its not really going
to really do it for you.

So the best thing about SGA??
I discovered Rodney McKay!!
The people who wrote this character must have used him
as an outlet to rip at everyone on the show,
because that is just what Dr. McKay did.
I found myself watching SGA just to watch this guy!
He's full of endless quotes. He is simply amazing to watch.
So much so that i recently joined a Facebook group called
'every quote from Rodney Mckay is my favourite quote'






Oh did i mention Skinner from X-Files made it onto this one.

Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009) directed by Kevin Hamedani written by Kevin Hamedani & Ramon Isao

To put this on par with Sean of the Dead was quite a mistake.
However, this was funny.

Its not a great zombie film.
I mean the zombies didn't show up till about an hour in.
But when they did it was out of the blue.
All of a sudden everyone is covered in blood.
Brilliant!!
I mean if your going to stall, then you better make sure
that the annoying boyfriend in question
gets his face ripped of his head before you move onto the next kill.

My favourite moment in this film was the bashing of Islamic
countries in an argument between an Iranian girl and her boyfriend.
Some very smart and funny dialogue.

Yea, if you offended by...just about anything cool.
forget this one.
Super low budget. But way better than Zombies on a Plane.

Defendor (2009) written & directed byPeter Stebbings

I loved how this movie started.
Woody is just perfect!
Sneaking around in the dark.
Dressed in black.
A massive D taped to his chest.

I thought this was going to be a comedy
and for sure, in some parts it was hilarious.
But this is a serious movie about a mentally
challenged man who thinks he's a super hero.

There are some seriously touching moments
in this movie. I really wasn't ready for it.
To top it off musically this movie has some serious style.
There are few moments where there isn't music used
to back a scene.
And for the most part,
some old detective vibe can be felt from the combination
of Defendor's snooping coupled with the score.

Like i said, i was expecting a comedy
and got a great film instead.
Thank you Woody.
A highly recommended flick.

The Decent Part 2 (2009) directed by Jon Harris written byJ BlakesonJames McCarthyJames Watkins

Watching The Decent Part 2 i remember some of the things
that made me love the first film.
the music is quite relaxing i must say for a film
about descending into small tight caves
and then being butchered to death at the hands
of some strange eyeless people.

The Decent was for me a very original style of horror.
The idea of climbing down into the dark,
crawling into the tightest of craveces
plays on such a deep fear of being clostrphobic.
At the time, i didnt know it was going to be a
monster movie.

I'd recently watched Into The Void,
and having a slight fascination with these climbers,
thought i was going to be in for a journey
where everyone turned on each other after encountering some
problem, such as being trapped or having to deal
with an injured friend, ultimately leading trust issues.
Which i was right about.
But then just at the most tense moment in the film,
out come the monsters to make the situation
slightly more horrid for the doomed climbers.

So now expecting the monsters and being a sequal
a rescue mission to find the missing girls from the first film
helps to move the pace in this sequel.
The music once again feeling slightly reminiscent of
a 90s thriller flick.

Despite having a totally new writing and directing team
the film still captures great elements from the first
film like our fear of the dark and small spaces.
The shock elements here are also just as great.
Very subtle.
And as we know trying to see in the dark
through video camera night vision
- is always a bad idea.


I enjoyed this one as much as the first.

Merry Gentleman (2008) directed by Michael Keatonwritten by Ron Lazeretti

This one was pretty cool.
Keaton was super cool in the 80s and then
he just disappeared.
Just like so many big stars in the 80s.

So hes back in a directorial role as well
and pulls it off !!

The story is really cute.
Keaton plays a stone cold assassin
who for some reason wants to commit suicide
until a lonely Scottish woman catches him trying
to jump of a roof top after hes just off-ed someone.

Its a very unlikely love story
and one that doesn't end with disappointment.

The Boat That Rocked (2009) written & directed byRichard Curtis

I don't know why it took me so long to watch this one.
Well i do.
I put it on a hard disk of mine which got lost.
So i find it.
And slap this one on.

And wow!!!
These are the kind of films i wish England made more of.
No gangsters, no banks, no minis, no 19th century dames
in old Victorian castles in distress.
Its just cool.
Really cool.

Perhaps im a little biased here, but i really do enjoy
films about music.
So this one about a pirate radio station on a ship out at sea,
brilliant plot.
The film had no weak moments.
Not one.

Every moment we need something to happen,
its filled with great music or naked women.
C'mon.
I can say brilliant again.

The showdown betwen Philip Seymour Hoffmann
and Rhys Ifans is utterly butterly!!

So, i really liked this.
And the music.
The music!!!

This one can be watched again easily.